Monthly Archive for April, 2009

Cannot. Wait.

I think I’ve told you guys like 47 times how much I love Jodi Picoult novels. And My Sister’s Keeper is sort of the staple of Jodi books. It’s usually everyone’s favorite. And above is the trailer for the movie version of it, which can’t possibly be as good but which I will totally see and bawl at.


A Planet Amongst The Stars


That’s what Kim Kardashian’s assular area reminds me of.  A giant planet surrounded by brighty shiny stars.

Got Hair?


This person is one of many many many many people SELLING THEIR HAIR on a website that Bunny pointed me to today.  If you go to, you can list your own hair for free.  And you can write your own handy dandy description of your hair, so as to attract the most hair buyers.  It’s like ebay for hair.  It’s like hairbay.

So the person in the photo above? Yeah.  That’s a GUY.  And here’s the description he wrote about his hair:

Dark-brown +24 inch virgin hair. Never been chemically treated, has been well-shampooed and condition. Always air-dried. Main color is the aforementioned chocolate color. Scarlet higlights appear durring sunset. “Honey-dust blonde” streaks have appeared on occasion, when brushed juuuuuuuuuuuust right. Looks like ribbons of black steel when wet. Very thick, resilliant: I’m a guy (but with some feminine quirks: bone structure, skin and HAIR (!) texture, for example). My hair has been growing for +8 years (It’s survived the Bush Administration!), but it’s time for Change (and my computer recently exploded, so could use the money. ^^;;; ) Volume: Alot. It could hold a serious electric charge on dry days. Durring trims, I’ve only had it thinned out (for weight) about two times. Texture: Very wavey, with curling rings at tips. I’m mixed ethnicity: I’m somewhere between Latin-blooded and Middle-Eastern-blooded, with some other ethnicities adding to my exotic look. I’ll go get it cut at at a Salon or Beauty school, have it get one last trim for split ends, and cut for maximun length and usability. Lifestyle: never smoke, never drink. Exercise regularly. Strong enough for a man. Gentle enough for a lady.”

Question.  Say you bought this dude’s hair.  How would go about using it? I mean, what is the application process? 

You know I’m not good at this kind of research.

The Mother Of All Mock Dock Posts – With The Promised Photo(s)

I say that not because this post will be particularly clever or funny or mocky, but because I have SO MUCH to tell you about this Chicago trip that I’m quite certain it will be the longest post in Mock Dock history.  So, if you’re interested, plan on staying awhile.  If you’re not interested, just scroll down to the more tolerable bite-size posts that are typical of The Mock Dock. 

Ok.  So we started our journey on Tuesday morning at 10ish, and piled into Leroy’s giant tricked out Tahoe.  Leroy, God bless ‘er, was SICK AS A DOG, but still totally psyched and ready for the festivities, and armed with loads of OTC drugs to combat funk symptoms.  So off we went.

Naturally, we blasted the latest Britney Spears album pretty much the whole way there.  We got to our hotel (Westin on Michigan Ave – just a few steps from Water Tower), threw our stuff in the room, and headed out to shop at H&M and Filene’s Basement before grabbing lunch/dinner at Ditka’s.  We had absolutely amazing service at pretty much every establishment we patroned over this past two days, and Ditka’s was no exception.  Food was delish, and our bartender/waiter was precious.  We stayed there a couple hours and then went back to the room to prepare for the Mother Of All Concerts. 

Continue reading ‘The Mother Of All Mock Dock Posts – With The Promised Photo(s)’

Quick Note

I know, I know.  Still no Britney update.  I am REALLY TRYING to get caught up and hope to have one up at lunchtime today.

FYI – if you’ve sent me an email in the last 2-3 days, I probably haven’t read it yet.  BUT I WILL.  I promise.  I’m not ignoring you.

And just for being so patient, here’s a precious seal.


More soon…



Seriously – how vomit-inducing is Halle Berry?  She is unspeakably flawless and utterly unmockable.  Do you think she has ever had a zit ever?  EVER?!??!


Did You Expect Anything Else?


Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are separated again.   Because he’s Sean Penn.  I have no idea how Robin managed to spend 13 years with that dillweed.

We’re headed back home from Chicago now!  If I make it home at a reasonable time, and am not totally exhausted from the pure joy that was this trip, I will recap the Britney show later tonight.  Because I know you guys have been waiting at the edge of your laptops for that, unable to focus on anything in your regular lives, breathless with anticipation for the Britney Concert Update.

Patience, my friends.

I Have Just Lost All Respect For Mel Gibson


First of all you guys, WE SURVIVED BRITNEY.  It was so super fabulous.  I’m not going to write anything about it till later when I have a chance to download a pic of us in our Britney get-ups.  But I’ll give you all the scoop in a bit.

ANYWAY, about 87 seconds after Mel Gibson’s impending divorce was announced, he has already decided to step out holding hands with his new and obviously much younger girlfriend.

Is there anything more tired and cliche than a middle aged dude who divorces his wife for a much younger woman?  Seriously.  It’s just so so so so tired.

In other news, despite rumors of THEIR impending divorce, all is well in Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick land.  They are, in fact, going to have twins with the help of a surrogate.  So sweet.  So unlike Mel Gibson.

More later, guys.  Off to have a leisurely, fattening, glorious Chicago brunch.

We Totally Need To Make This The New Big Trend


An alert and astute mockdocker from Australia sent me a link to the most hilarious website.  

It appears to sell nothing but these “caftans” and the descriptions of these styles and of the caftans themselves are hysterical.   Leroy says they look like stuff Mrs. Roper from Three’s Company wears.  TOTALLY ACCURATE.

Just listen to how this one is described:

Comfortable and practical, our satiny soft caftans are ideal for lounging and relaxing, but are so elegant you can wear them while entertaining or even for a candlelight dinner for two.”

And that’s just the beginning, you guys.  I think we should all order them and wear them to work! Who’s with me?

Product Watch!

OMG – If I could find a way to cheaply product test these, I would do it in a heartbeat. I’m sure they’re hugely expensive though, and I can’t see where I’d get enough use out of them to justify the cost. But how FABULOUS are these horselegs?

I so want to see this chick gallop.

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