Monthly Archive for March, 2009

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LANDBEAST LOVE!

According to this,  Fox (who else?) is creating a new dating competition reality show for landbeasts!!!  Now granted, they are not using the term “landbeast” for auditions.  They are seeking “average looking” and overweight contestants.  But let’s call a spade a spade, shall we?

Fox is partnering with the producer of The Bachelor for this show, because, you know – that show has been so ASTONISHINGLY SUCCESSFUL at creating long lasting relationships (snort). 

My favorite part is the title of the show – More To Love.  Brilliant.

The article does contain one bit of cryptic, say-wha? information.  It says, “Contestants will do the sort of activities seen on ‘Bachelor,’ but producers suspect Jacuzzi or massage dates will take on a different perspective.”  I don’t know about you, but that kind of makes me immediately think of these people.

She Can’t Help Herself

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I think we’ve just reached a point where Pam Anderson is simply incapable of not showing the world her crotchular area at all times.  We may as well just accept this.

She’s wearing a wife-beater as a DRESS.  Someone needs to tell her that using a bedazzler to affix giant fake gemstones to a wife-beater doesn’t make it classier.

BEHOLD

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LOOK you guys.  Victoria Beckham is wearing FLATS.   I am so confused right now. I mean, I SEE with my eyes that they are flats, but my brain is not able to compute this information.

Gaylocity

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this video earlier today, and you guys, it made me CRY with laughter. I’m sure you’ve all seen episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway, but I hadn’t ever seen this clip with Richard Simmons in it, and Richard Simmons is one of the most absurdly ridiculous and hilarious gay people ever, and watching Drew Carey’s reaction to all of this is just one big giant gigglefest.

You will love this. And if you don’t, I don’t see how we can be friends.

Today Is A Good Day

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Mr. Mock and I were kidless last night and this morning, thanks to my awesome parents, and so we slept in and lazily got up and decided that there would be nothing better for breakfast than Long’s Donuts.  And for those of you who don’t live in Indy, there is really no way to fully express to you what you’re missing by not having ready access to a Long’s.

Long’s Donuts – the plain glazed kind – are like crack.  They are the most delicious donuts you can ever hope to eat ever.  There is a line for these donuts every single morning, because people who live here understand that they are like crack and are perfectly willing to waste gobs of time waiting for them.  That’s all part of the crack factor.  Donuts are already the world’s most perfect food, but when they’re LONG’s donuts?  Well, it’s like ecstasy wrapped in rapture covered with bliss and topped off with euphoric joy.  

So we’ve been enjoying our donuts, and then I came across the rottentomatoes.com review of Ashley Judd’s movie Crossing Over.  And it has received a 12% rating on the tomatometer, which, if you guys aren’t frequenters of rottentomatoes.com, means essentially that it’s one of the worst movies ever.

And it’s only 10am, you guys.  How great of a start to a day can one possibly have?

LOVE.

Grab Some Kleenex Before You Read This

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I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy, but as I understand it, many people do.  And apparently there is some chatter about whether or not Katherine Heigl’s character will stay on the show.  And this article has some quotes from The Heigl about that.

So here’s where the kleenex comes in.  Katherine Heigl, when asked about whether or not she’d like to continue doing movies and TV (by working on movies during her summer break from Grey’s Anatomy) said this:

”I’m more than happy to make that compromise. As my agent likes to say, ‘High-class problems.  ‘I don’t know if I want to continue for five years working 12 months a year, but I can take at least another year or two.”

I don’t know about you all, but just THINKING about poor Katherine Heigl possibly having to work TWELVE WHOLE MONTHS a year makes me WEEP with sympathy for her.  I mean, how can she be expected to work every single month out of every single year?  For mere millions?  What is she, some sort of slave?  

I’m thinking of starting a some sort of charitable foundation – you know, something that will provide poor Katherine with enough funding that she only has to work, say, nine months of every year instead of the full twelve.  The poor girl must be EXHAUSTED.

(Hate.)

You Know What’s Sad?

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These guys have more flexibility than I do.

These ARE guys, right?

Drama Surrounding Britney? NO WAY.

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How great is Britney’s back-up dancer’s hair in this picture?  LOVE.

So apparently Britney’s dad is using a bunch of legal shmegal power to shut down her biggest fan site breatheheavy.com.  It sounds like the fight is getting kinda ugly.  There are rumors that the owner, some obviously obsessed and pathetic dude named Jordan, is tied to that creepy Sam Lufti guy that has a restraining order against him.  Who knows.

Just another day in the life of the Britster.

No Poops? No Oops!

Gabone sent me this video this morning and I cannot stop giggling at the narrator of this commercial.

If I had a dog, I would product test this in a HEARTBEAT. Takers?

What. Is. She. WEARING?!

BEHOLD: Beyonce singing Alanis’ You Oughta Know, in what appears to be an adult sized diaper.

This does not work for me.

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