Skankocity

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An alert and astute mockdocker sent me two new “products” which she thought might be of interest.  The first, pictured above, is the C-string.  It probably doesn’t need a whole lot of explanation.  I’m not above admitting to you that I can see the appeal and functionality of this particular product.  BUT, I won’t product test it publicly, because I cannot begin to imagine how utterly embarassing it would be to actually TELL you all how it worked for me personally.  I’ll tell you right now though, that if it came with a guarantee that my body would look like hers, I would pay TOP DOLLAR for this.  I’ll keep my own face though.

Second product?  Even skankier than the first.  BEHOLD:  the bikini pant.

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This is just stupid.  But if any of you mockdockers are interested in product testing it, be my guest.  Just make sure you send us the pictures.

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  • april f.

    I love how the website for the c-string gives suggestions for use, including as a bikini. What happens if you hit a wave?!?!? Do u have to clench really hard in order to keep it stuck to you?

    Also I have no words for the bikini pants, but I guess all those girls who like to wear their thongs showing outside the low riders can go commando and still look like they are ready to go out for a night on the town.

  • rosie too

    The c-string looks insanely uncomfortable…and what’s the point? Wouldn’t it be easier to wear no underwear? Plus it looks like a shiny pink maxi-pad. Hot.

  • Christine

    Does the skinny end go up your wazzoo to hold it in place?

  • Hatchetwoman

    Seriously, who would buy such a thing? Although someone who goes panty-less all the time, like Britney Spears, might want to try it to avoid the pictures of her pudenda.

  • Buckeye Bob

    And the next thing will just be a modified pacifier.

  • http://themockdock.com Punky

    Are those pants legal?

  • Katie B

    I know a landbeast or two who would love those pants….

  • Sarcasmic

    I agree with rosie, it would be much easier just to go comando.

    The pants reminded me of a girl I used to sit behind in Spanish class while I was in highschool. Every day I got the pleasure of seeing which thong she had selected that morning. Although I think now to a lot of the girls that sit in front of me during lectures and I only wish they had some sort of under garment on. Instead I have to be exposed to their vertical smiles for an hour and a half four times a week.

  • Mikey

    c-“string” is a misnomer. This thing should be called the c-wire, or maybe coochie-clamp as the tension from the fabric covered wire stuck in your crack is what holds it on.

  • PurpleAnn

    The black one on the website looks like hair! Eeeew!

  • ME

    Everyone who has the body to wear these things will not be the ones wearing them. I agree with above when they say landbeasts have found a whole new way to show off their sexy bodies..

  • Hurleyburleygirl

    If I saw this stupid hootchie thing walking down the beach I would think it is the international sign for “idiot ho skank who probably smokes like a chimney, drinks and smells like a fish, and will suck anything that looks like a stick”.

    My apologies to smokers and drinkers everywhere.

  • Benoit from Ottawa

    Darn, the NUMBER of comments I’ve self-censored!

  • Little Eye

    I’d rather go commando than do this… what a waste of money.

  • QuiteContrary

    The only use I can think of for the C-String is wearing it under normal bikini bottoms when you go to the beach and then having this on to cover you when you start taking peices off to eliminate tanning lines.
    Like… you would also wear pasties under your suit so when you were going topless everyone couldn’t see your nips…

    But, this might be a stretch.

  • Jessy

    so instead of a pantyline you get a maxi pad line ewwww real sexy