So Mr. Mock and I just returned home from our standard Friday night date. There was no way I was going to make it through a movie tonight, because I have caught the funk that Mini-Mock and Junior-Mock had last week, and after two glasses of wine at dinner you guys are lucky I’m even coherent enough to type this post. (Or unlucky, as the case may be.) Anyway, after dinner we stopped at Barnes and Noble, and as I browsed through the aisles, I thought to myself, “Self – you know what you should do? You should go to the Z aisle, hover by the Laura Zigman books, and then loudly and proudly proclaim to anyone who passes that you have a blog which is read and liked by Laura Zigman, author of four novels.”
So off I went towards the Z’s. And you know what I found? NOT A SINGLE LAURA ZIGMAN NOVEL. I immediately took this up with the information desk. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Greetings and Salutations, information desk person.
IDP: How can I help you?
Me: Where are the rest of the works of fiction whose authors’ names start with Z?
IDP: (looking confused) All of the Z’s are right over there (pointing to the aisle where I just made my unfortunate discovery).
Me: Are you aware that you have NO Laura Zigman novels there?
IDP: Let me check my system (self-importantly types and manuevers mouse). Hmm. Yes – we appear to currently not be carrying any of her titles. We’d be happy to order something for you.
Me: That won’t be necessary; however, it would behoove you to carry her books, since there are four of them, and she’s one of the most important literary figures of our time.
IDP: (Looking annoyed) Yeah.
You’ll notice I refrained from plugging The Mock Dock. But it was ALL I COULD DO not to mention it.
So Mr. Mock, being awesome, says, “Why don’t we head over to Borders?” So off we went, and you guys – the exact same thing happened at Borders.
Laura – if you are reading this, you need to have your manager or publicist or whatever it is that famous authors of four novels have to take care of injustices such as these – IMMEDIATELY lodge a complaint with both bookstores. To save your people the trouble of having to craft the letters, I’ve taken the liberty of drafting one for them here:
Dear Barnes and Noble/Borders:
It is with deep disappointment and sadness that I must report to you that the ever alert and astute Mockarena, of www.themockdock.com, made a discovery recently that is soon to send shockwaves through the mockdocking community. Laura Zigman’s titles are missing from your shelves.
I would hope that it goes without saying that this is a situation which must be dealt with swiftly and expeditiously. A letter from our counsel will shortly follow.
p.s. You should really check out www.themockdock.com