So Mr. Mock and I just returned home from our standard Friday night date. There was no way I was going to make it through a movie tonight, because I have caught the funk that Mini-Mock and Junior-Mock had last week, and after two glasses of wine at dinner you guys are lucky I’m even coherent enough to type this post. (Or unlucky, as the case may be.) Anyway, after dinner we stopped at Barnes and Noble, and as I browsed through the aisles, I thought to myself, “Self – you know what you should do? You should go to the Z aisle, hover by the Laura Zigman books, and then loudly and proudly proclaim to anyone who passes that you have a blog which is read and liked by Laura Zigman, author of four novels.”
So off I went towards the Z’s. And you know what I found? NOT A SINGLE LAURA ZIGMAN NOVEL. I immediately took this up with the information desk. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Greetings and Salutations, information desk person.
IDP: How can I help you?
Me: Where are the rest of the works of fiction whose authors’ names start with Z?
IDP: (looking confused) All of the Z’s are right over there (pointing to the aisle where I just made my unfortunate discovery).
Me: Are you aware that you have NO Laura Zigman novels there?
IDP: Let me check my system (self-importantly types and manuevers mouse). Hmm. Yes – we appear to currently not be carrying any of her titles. We’d be happy to order something for you.
Me: That won’t be necessary; however, it would behoove you to carry her books, since there are four of them, and she’s one of the most important literary figures of our time.
IDP: (Looking annoyed) Yeah.
You’ll notice I refrained from plugging The Mock Dock. But it was ALL I COULD DO not to mention it.
So Mr. Mock, being awesome, says, “Why don’t we head over to Borders?” So off we went, and you guys – the exact same thing happened at Borders.
Laura – if you are reading this, you need to have your manager or publicist or whatever it is that famous authors of four novels have to take care of injustices such as these – IMMEDIATELY lodge a complaint with both bookstores. To save your people the trouble of having to craft the letters, I’ve taken the liberty of drafting one for them here:
Dear Barnes and Noble/Borders:
It is with deep disappointment and sadness that I must report to you that the ever alert and astute Mockarena, of www.themockdock.com, made a discovery recently that is soon to send shockwaves through the mockdocking community. Laura Zigman’s titles are missing from your shelves.
I would hope that it goes without saying that this is a situation which must be dealt with swiftly and expeditiously. A letter from our counsel will shortly follow.
Regards,
Manager/Publicist Person
p.s. You should really check out www.themockdock.com
They refuse to carry like 49 million books that I’ve suggested. I go into one a lot and ask for The Chrysalids and they NEVER have it. “I can order it for you!”
No. Obviously, as I have been in here countless times looking for that book, somebody wants it. Surprise me. Have it one time. I don’t want to go out of my way to show up for the book. I want to walk in and it be RIGHT THERE.
Those Bastards!
I hadn’t been to either store for quite a while, but was at Borders during the Holidays to buy a gift card, and since I was there, browsed the Biographies looking for two specific new releases and one older release. I had trouble locating the Biography section, and only found what I thought was a tiny display area, but it turned out to be their entire Biography “Department”! What the heck are they stocking in the store, then, if many of us can’t find what we want in the store and have to order online?
you are SO funny! Yea, these guys mostly suck. BUT….they DO have a book with MY face on it. yessssirreee they do. its in the teen section probably and its called “Whats in a Name” yup. thats me. when i was like 13. HAHA well at least it USED to be there… probably not anymore since they mostly suck.
I am so touched. Truly I am. Though I’m wondering how much my mother paid you to write that post. Just kidding. (I know that even if she asked you to do that you wouldn’t have taken any money.) I know people have way worse problems than feeling frustrated because the books they wrote are never in bookstores, but it’s really really annoying. You’d think that maybe, with the arrival of the newest book I co-wrote (ghostwrote) with the matchmaker, that maybe they might stock at least one or two copies of Animal Husbandry, hopefully NOT the one with the MOVIE photo on it, but no, not even that has worked. And so I will link to this post and hope that someone will hear of our discontent….Thank you again…
I can’t remember the last time either store had the book that I went to buy. My last trip to Borders was about a year ago. The book they didn’t have? Green Egg and Ham. Seriously, didn’t have it. I know, you go looking for obscure titles…
We just got a new, gigantic, gorgeous independent bookstore. I decided to give them a chance and break out of my amazon obsession. I asked for a book for my kids, again, a pretty standard title. They had never heard of it, even though they were supposed to be “book people” there to provide a personal touch. The girl said she would go check on the book. She walked over to the computer and went to amazon.com to find it. It’s hard to support the brick and mortar stores when they have little more to offer than, well, brick and mortar. That and surly employees who apparently don’t think looking up books falls under their job description. If I wanted them to order it, I could stay home in my pajamas and order it myself from amazon.
I worked for Borders for a year, and I LOVED it! I can’t speak for Laura’s book, but I can speak for “Green Eggs and Ham.” If you had come to my Borders (4th St Live in Louisville, KY), you would’ve found that book. I know because we had a BILLION copies of it. No one would buy it, but the warehouse wouldn’t stop shipping it either.