True Love

An alert and astute mockdocker sent in the photo above, and at first I resisted posting it only because commenter Madrone was all, “I’m bored by you making fun of ‘large’ people all the time” when I posted that hairy armpitted picture but then I realized that I can’t pander to just a few people when what I really want to do is energize my base.  See how I made this post all political right there?  That means I’m turning off commenters who are bored by “large people posts” AND those who don’t like the politics.  I’m equal opportunity alienating people!!!

Now then.  I have two questions.

What part of her body is this guy holding? Seriously – he could totally be hitting 3rd base in this photo and I would have NO IDEA.

And secondly, what is going on with her hairline?  Her bangs look like they were applied with fake eyelash glue.

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  • Rachel

    Go ahead and mock whomever you’d like. I’m a high school teacher; if mocking didn’t exist, my job would be very dismal.

  • mikey

    He could be hitting any base, and neither one of them would know it….

  • mikey

    He could try the old “rolling her in flour” technique, but he’d need a 10 ton dump truck load of flour, a wide expanse of pavement, and assorted laborers to help roll her over.

    He might try calling Leonard Nimoy to see if he will reunite the cast and crew from the TV show In Search Of…..

  • jenn

    Maybe I’ve been doing it all wrong…maybe I need to GAIN weight to find a man!!!

  • KittyThePooka

    Oh Mockarena! You know that this site is the guilty pleasure of all who read it. If you censor your snarking, what FUN would it be?

    Also: If I ever get so large that when a person hugs me they are not sure which part of my body that they are touching, I promise I will commence some sort of weight loss SCIENCE to at least reduce me to a point where I am no longer a spherical blob of clammy flesh.

  • Buckeye Bob

    I think the hair plugs worked about as well as the Jenny Craig Plan.
    She’s happy too because it’s her turn on top tonight.

  • mlm

    That chair behind her better start running!

  • SnarkyBritches

    mlm… I don’t think that chair is exactly behind her – I think it’s the one she’s sitting in/on/near. I think she’s just That Big that she’s perched on the very edge, cuz that’s the only part of her that’ll fit between the armrests. Yikes!!!

  • Punky

    More cushion for the pushin’.

  • amanda

    I think he would have to do a lot more work than sly hand placement to reach ANY base, much less 3rd base. Plus, this guy is relatively decent looking. There are no weird lesions, entire body hair, or anything of that sort. WTF?