Monthly Archive for April, 2008

Key To Successful Heterosexual Relationships: Fruit Basket For Gays

I shouldn’t promote Chris Crocker any more than he already promotes himself, but he’s so utterly freaky I can’t help myself. Watch, straight boys. Watch and learn. :)

You Know What I Love?

When people I can’t stand look really horrible in photos.  I literally get the warm and fuzzies when something like this falls into my lap.  Look at Lindsay’s stupid self-promoting sleazebag of a mom.  And then look at how pissed off Lindsay is.

I LOVE this photo.  LOVE.

Worst. Haircut. Ever.

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This doesn’t warrant any commentary.

Big News

Guess what!  Someone loves Mariah Carey enough to marry her.  While other sites are reporting that the big news is that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are engaged, we here at The Mock Dock see the bigger news as simply that someone LIKES MARIAH CAREY and is voluntarily committing to spending a lifetime with her.  Enormous gigantic ring aside, the fact of the matter is that someone is going to subject himself to SHARING A LIFE with Mariah Carey.

I don’t know about you, but I’m shocked at this news.   Someone clearly needs to pull Nick Cannon aside and explain to him what he’s getting himself into.

New Weird Couple Alert

So it appears that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are officially dating, which means John Mayer is clearly on a mission to date everyone famous singer and/or actress in Hollywood.  It also means that we’re soon going to be subjected to various dating name combinations for the two of them.  Like Jennimayer and Mayniston and other gay names like that.

P.S.  John Mayer and a tattoo sleeve.  Somehow this does not compute.

Hooray! Family Feud is the Breast! I mean Best!

If you were going on a game show as a contestant, and you knew that you had the chance to win a substantial amount of cash and prizes, and more importantly, you knew that you were likely going to be doing lots of jumping and cheering, what sort of top would you wear?  Thank you, alert and astute reader Jamie for bringing this clip to our attention.

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BREAKING NEWS ALERT!!!!

This is one of the Olsen twins! I know!  I didn’t recognize her either!  It doesn’t even matter which one it is.  The point is, she looks like a normal, smiling, and I’ll even go so far as to say CUTE person.  I didn’t think either of the Olsen twins were capable of looking like anything other than ghosts with too much mascara and huge duck lips, so I consider this Really Big News.

Neil Diamond Uses American Idol Contestants To Remind Everyone He Still Exists

Jump in to see how the contestants fared. Continue reading ‘Neil Diamond Uses American Idol Contestants To Remind Everyone He Still Exists’

LOOK At This Giant Head

This is a photo, which has not been altered or photoshopped, of two girls I care nothing about; namely, Lauren Conrad from The Hills, and Kristin Cavallari or Cavalliri or something close to that from some other dumb reality show.  But that’s not the point.

The point is, LOOK how much bigger the head is on the girl on the right.  She’s like a total GIANT PUMPKIN HEAD next to the girl on the left.  What the heck is going on here?  And I promise you, I saw the zoomed out photo of this and it hasn’t been altered in any way.  Her face is really twice the size of the other chick. 

We Get It, Gwyneth. You Like Your Legs.

I’m pretty sure I cut this dress out of construction paper in 2nd grade during the snowflake making assignment.

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