Monthly Archive for March, 2008

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Cate Blanchett Would Like You To Notice Her Belly Button

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Really, Cate? 

If there were some kind of award for dresses which could fully cover and yet fully display one’s navel simultaneously, this would win first place every time.

Speaking Of The Spears Sisters…

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…Jamie Lynn has become every bit as photogenic as her big sister.  Well done, Spears girls, well done.

Receding Hairlines Run in the Family

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Remember how I posted a couple days ago about how far back Britney Spears’ hairline was receding, most likely due to her hideous extensions?

Well, clearly her sister’s hair is doing the same thing.  I’m not sure if she’s got extensions or not, but regardless, LOOK at how much skull is happening here.  I thought pregnancy was supposed to make your hair healthier, and yet, it looks like the fetus has decided to just absorb any hair-healthifying hormones for itself.

Ashley Judd Tried to Impress Craig Ferguson

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I just saw a clip from an Ashley Judd appearance on the Craig Ferguson show, promoting her horrible godawful boring movie of last year, Come Early Morning.  And you know how much I hate her and her seeming inability to get through a single conversation without injecting 28-letter words into as many sentences as possible.  I mean, if you said, “Hi” to her, she’d probably reply, “How delightful of you to bestow upon me such a breviloquent salutation,” or something to that effect.

Anyway.  I jotted down, verbatim I might add, the following gems from her interview.

1.  Referring to the paparazzi in the UK, Ashley said, “They’ve completely disabused me of the high school notion that there should be some verisimilitude of truth in the news.”  I’m not kidding you.  She used the word verisimilitude in a CASUAL CONVERSATION ON A TALK SHOW.

2. Responding to Craig’s comment about Ashley picking up a bit of a Scottish accent, she replied, “I used to have this crisis of conscience about my identity – I didn’t have a consolidated sense of self, so wherever I am, I’ll sort of drift into some reflections of that (accent).”  Who talks like this?

So anyway, I watched this video and was so sickened by it that I felt a need to find a picture of her in shoes incredibly similar to ones I wore in high school show choir and a hideous eggplant dress that makes her look 5 months pregnant, and lo and behold, this popped up in my google search.   Sweet, sweet justice.

Pam Anderson Reaches New Heights of Classiness

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Umm…..nice boots.

Best. Laugh. Ever.

You can skip the first minute of this terrible comedy routine….but the laugh is so worth it. Not sure how old this video is, but I just Stumbled Upon it, and it made my day. I laughed so hard I no longer have to do my ab work out tonight. YAY!

Tonight, on “To Catch a BigFoot Predator”

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A man in Baltimore is claiming that he was sexually assaulted by BigFoot. I know that sounds like a punch line, but alas, it’s true. See the Local News footage here.

What a freaking moron. I’ve seen all of the To Catch a Predator shows, and let me tell you, Chris Hanson would personally punch you in the face if you gave this as an excuse for chatting with under age boys.

One thing I learned from that news clip is that there is a BigFoot Field Researchers Organization. I’m not making that up. Visit them here. After visiting, consider how funny it would be if there was a BigFoot Chris Hanson, and another BigFoot walked into a nice, upper class cave expecting to find a young BigFoot home alone. BigFoot Chris says “there’s something you need to know…I’m BigFoot Chris Hanson, and I’m doing a show on BigFoots who seek relationships online with underage BigFoots.” hehe…I really want to keep going…I’m such a dork.

Here’s the winner…

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…who let his girlfriend sit on the pot for two years (see here). He looks about right, doesn’t he?  His name is Kory McFarren and because he let his girlfriend’s cheeks mold to the crapper, he has been charged with a misdemeanor count of mistreatment of a dependent adult. Apparently now he has been arrested AGAIN for allegedly exposing himself to a couple of teenage girls.

I got nothin’ on the exposure thing. Except that….well…..wow. What a keeper.

Here is the full video of Kory telling his side of the story. My favorite part is when he says “if she walks or rolls out of that hospital, she’ll come back to me and I will take care of her.”  That sounds promising, doesn’t it?

George’s Girl Gone Wild

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So according to the Star,  George Clooney’s girlfriend du jour, Sarah Larson, is a wild child.  This photo, in which she’s basically dry humping some dude against a wall in a Las Vegas nightclub, was taken about a month after she met George. 

You can’t teach this kind of classiness.  You’ve either got it, or you don’t.

Well, Looks Like the Hulkster Stays True to Type

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Hulk Hogan was seen at an airport with a girl who’s apparently a new girlfriend, and she looks pretty much like a carbon copy of his daughter, who is a carbon copy of his soon-to-be-ex-wife.  Hulk likes ’em big boobed and blond.   Which would also describe him.

So you see, he’s very consistent.

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