Monthly Archive for March, 2008

Goldie Hawn Has Spots

I don’t know if this is an unfortunate case of freckles, or age spots, or sun damage, or leprosy, but it isn’t good. 

What compels someone to look in the mirror at this face and think, “You know what I need?  I need a pair of silver hoop earrings.  That’ll finish this look right up.”

My New Favorite Photo of Kate Hudson

I’m pretty sure this is how I would feel if I attempted to jog, so I can’t fault her for looking like she wants to die.

Utterly Unnecessary Photo of Jason McDreadlocks

Did you ever come across a photo that you thought was completely retarded and yet at the same time, you wanted to share it with the world?

Well, welcome to my Monday evening.

 

Fur + Muscles = Madonna

Looking scary as ever, Madonna was spotted leaving a London gym the other day.  The muscles are used to scare humans, while the fur is used to scare other creatures.  All in all, she pretty much scares everyone.

This Is Not Normal

No one’s waist should be cinched in this tightly.  How is she even breathing? 

The Two Best Senior Photos of All Time

Have you ever seen two gayer high school seniors in all of your life?  And what is up with the hand position of the topless dude?  It’s like he’s either embarrassed that he has a wee-wee or he’s trying to prevent it from popping out unexpectedly or he’s hiding it from the dude in the top picture.  Regardless, it’s gay.

Jennifer Lopez is PISSED

Look at how angry she is.  You know why?  It’s because her stylist made her look like some sort of evil cobra with that slicked back hair and snakey dress.

I can’t think of many people that this kind of hair looks good on, with the possible exception of the girls in the Robert Palmer videos.  And even that is a stretch.

What In The World Has Happened To Her?

You know who that is??  It’s Lara Flynn Boyle.  I’m not kidding!  That’s really her! Her face is totally sliding off of her head, which I believe is the purpose of the blue ribbon – so that it kind of stops at her neck before sliding all the way down her whole body.

Yikes.

Rocky and Hayley: Stars in the Making

Hey – you know how stage parents are generally the most annoying people on earth? Well, the new VH1 show, I Know My Kid’s A Star, has outdone even your WORST stage parent nightmare, by introducing the horrific transvestite-ish mom Rocky, who wants her daughter Hayley to buy her a dream house.

Watch -as she helps Hayley learn a truly age-appropriate song to perform for the world-renowned talent-finder, Danny Bonaduce.

“Is my tampon string showing?” You don’t get classier than that, mockdockers.

HUGE Non-News

Reports are surfacing this evening that Brad and Angelina got married today. Which is pretty irrelevant considering they have like 27 kids together.

This will probably turn out to not be true anyway. But at least you won’t get to say I don’t keep you informed.

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