Jessica Simpson Should Not Be Allowed Out in Public Anymore

OMG, you guys. You have to watch this for so many reasons. First, this video features a horrible cover band butchering Sweet Child of Mine. Second, Tony Romo, inexplicably, helps sing it. Yes, that Tony Romo. And third, Jessica Simpson looks totally wasted in it, AND somewhere between minute 3.30 and 4.00, the lead singer of the cover band tells her he is going to give her a shocker, and even uses the word vagina, and she is COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS. She could have said, “Wait – is that some sort of tuna or chicken or something?” and it wouldn’t have made her look any more dumb than she already looks. And lastly, Jessica and the lead singer guy have a sing off, in which JESSICA LOSES because she can’t hit the high notes as well as he can.

It’s like a virtual smorgasbord of mockworthy footage. NOT TO BE MISSED, mockdockers.

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