Monthly Archive for November, 2007

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Nicole Kidman is SHOCKED

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Nicole Kidman, who claims to have never had Botox, demonstrates her unique ability to only wrinkle at the outside tip of each eyebrow when she tries to look surprised. 

Salma Hayek Tricked Us

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Salma Hayek, who was pregnant for approximately 3 full years, gave birth to her baby girl several weeks ago.  And this is the baby.  I know – I’m surprised too.  I thought she’d be basically full grown based on the length of gestation and the size of Salma’s belly.

A Vision of Beauty

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Other blog sites are speculating that Amy Winehouse’s TAMPON STRING is showing in this picture.  But I’m having a hard time believing that someone who obviously cares deeply about her personal appearance and hygiene would allow that to happen.

Kim Kardashian Wants to be a Role Model

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Kim Kardashian, famous for having an ass that defies logic, recently posed in Playboy.  And she was quoted as saying that one of the reasons she did it was because she’s not one of those “stick skinny girls” and thought girls need to see a “normal body”.

There are two things wrong with this.  First, this is not a normal body. Second, if she wanted girls to see her body, why Playboy?  Last I checked, this was a magazine geared towards MEN.  Speaking of which, her step-dad, Bruce Jenner, has been quoted as saying that he “went and watched Kim do her shoot for the magazine cover”.  Looks like Kim may have found her target audience after all.

You Won’t Be Seeing This Pose Again Anytime Soon

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Linda Hogan has filed for divorce.  And she did it the really classy and mature way – so that instead of telling the Hulk directly, he found out when she was off on vacation and a reporter called him to ask him about it.  Nice.

Apparently, news of the birth of his two children (now grown, of course) was delivered via a note during recess.

Britney’s Album Tanks

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Britney’s Blackout is totally sucking the life out of the music charts after just four weeks post-release.  But lest you become too depressed about that news, fret not, mockdockers.  For I have other news which will surely buoy your spirits.

David Hasselhoff is in talks to make a Knight Rider movie.  And yes, I’m aware that these two news items are completely unrelated.

Enough Food Already. Back to the Juice!

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After a 4 day long food frenzy, the mockers are ready to spring back into action and give you back the gossip, snark, and mockery you have come to expect from us.

Remember when Tara Reid was sort of famous for acting in some movies?  And then she was REALLY famous for showing a botched up boob on the red carpet?  And then she was famous for talking ad nauseum about all of the other botched up plastic surgeries she had? Well, all of that wasn’t enough for her.  Now she wants to be famous for eating less than Keira Knightley and Angie Harmon.  Well done, Tara!

Yikes

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This is apparently some super fan of Nick Carter’s, who has created a cardboard/stuffed version of him to keep her company, as well as a baby version of him to play house with.  Let’s discuss.I think it’s actually LESS weird that she’s gone to such lengths to show her devotion to someone than it is that she’s showing it to NICK CARTER.  Robbie Williams – I could almost understand.  David Beckham – perhaps.  But Nick Carter?  Really? 

This is SO Weird!

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In the mother of all coincidences, Ice T’s wife is wearing the EXACT same outfit I am planning on wearing to my inlaws’ for Thanksgiving.  I hope we don’t run into each other anywhere!  Awwwkward!

Is This Normal?

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I understand the appeal of washboard abs – the sixpack.  I get it.  But isn’t this kind of excessive?  I mean, are you supposed to develop SIDE sixpacks in addition to the front sixpack?  Ryan Reynolds has like a ponykeg worth of abs now.  And frankly, it looks a little weird to me.  Maybe his stomach was intimidating to Alanis Morrisette and this is why they broke up?

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