Monthly Archive for July, 2007

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Alli

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I was recently sent an email about the new diet pill Alli. If you haven’t heard about this, it is the first FDA-approved, over-the-counter diet pill. Here is the forwarded email:

Public Service Announcement

Warning: This is graphic but someone has to tell it like it is. The news companies and pharmacies are too afraid.

After hearing some non-pharmacist friends talking recently, I decided to write this blog to help everyone out.

Alli is a great new diet pill that is proven to work and is available over the counter. You can lose up to 50% more weight using Alli than just by diet and exercise alone. Great, huh?

No.

Alli makes you poop your pants. Alli’s marketers hide this by using the term “fecal urgency.” You will have “oily discharge” throughout the day. When you fart, you will shoot out oil. When you start taking Alli, you have to bring an extra change of clothes. When you take Alli, according to the patient information brochure, you may recognize what’s in your poop as “the oil that is often on the top of your pizza.” This statement disturbs me. First it implies that you look at your poop in the toilet and say, “Hey! I recognize that from somewhere!” Second, it implies that all fat people eat pizza and not just pizza, but the greasy, nasty kind. Third, why use the pizza analogy?? A simple “it looks like fat or oil” would have sufficed. Personally, I think Alli’s marketing writers should be fired.

And this still happens when you are following the “rules” and only eating the recommended 15 grams of fat per meal. If you eat more than that, may God be with you.

Here is a scenario of what will happen:

You eat: A turkey sandwich You: Poop your pants

You eat: Low fat chips and salsa You: Poop your pants

You eat: A salad You: Poop your pants

You eat: A salad with ranch You: Poop your pants all day and will probably have to sleep on the toilet

You eat: Taco Bell You: Poop your pants for days, and probably will get fired because you skipped work. You’ll have to quit if you did go because everyone saw you poop your pants. You will also need to buy a new collection of work pants and maybe a new office chair.

So instead of buying Alli, maybe you should buy stock in Depends or the Tide To Go Pen stain remover.

Just a tip from your neighborhood pharmacist.

Paula Abdul is a shining example of emotional health

Paula Abdul, widely known for her lucidity and ability to hide her emotions, has apparently lost another gig, in what can only be described as one of life’s great injustices.

Robbie Williams’ Latest Book…the sequel to “Feel”…

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For Bunny (and every other female and gay man for that matter)

Bunny loves her some Will Kemp.

Something New

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This is a post just so Robbie Williams isn’t the first thing people see when they hop on this site ūüôā sorry Mockerana…love ya…¬† Anywhoo…this is from our friends at Geekologie.com. What a wonderful, wonderful example of why I love Japanese people. I present¬†the Pillowig. See more here: http://www.geekologie.com/2007/07/the_pillowig.php¬†

Offered without Comment (except to say that he [Robbie Williams] is the best entertainer of all time and otherwise perfect in every way)

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An Observation

I recently went to the grocery store…well, its really MORE than a grocery store. Target is more than¬†ANY store, really. Target, to me, is the mecca of all stores. But, that’s another post.

Anywhoo, I observed something while doing my weekly shop. Grocery shopping is like a dance. A big socially-awkward,¬†“makes me relive junior high” kind of¬†dance. ¬†As I wove through the first aisle (bread, peanut butter and salad dressing aisle, if you must know), a couple was walking toward me. We each acknowledged the other, gave a slight smile and a “don’t we all hate to grocery shop” look. It wasn’t until the third aisle (Italian foods/Chinese foods) that I realized I would be passing by this same couple at least 10 more times. Each time became more and more painful. By aisle five (coffee, tea, baking supplies) I hated this couple.¬†Mr.¬†“I Take Up the¬†Whole Aisle with My Cart” and Mrs. “Gee Let Me¬†Browse EVERY FREAKING Aisle and Take My¬†Own Sweet Time Making EVERY¬†FREAKING Food Decision” – they were relentless. Once frozen foods came around, I wanted to ram my cart into their perfect little lives. I wanted to make them sorry for ever entering my sweet, sweet Target store. Who do they think they are? whoooo….ok, give me a few minutes.

………

Ok, sorry about that. I’m back. My therapist says hi, by the way. Back to my post, God…I¬†LOVE Target!!

Mary Murphy is Insane


She’s insane, but there is a little piece of my soul that hearts Mary Murphy from So, You Think You Can Dance. And there is a huge piece of my soul that hearts Joel McHale. And the two of them together makes my soul leap and soar.

In honor of our first day…

Friends, as we launch forth our meaningless dribble for all the galaxy to read, let us not forget from where we came. In honor of our new website, I present the best YouTube video find ever. Please, even if you have seen this video so many times that you have memorized the dance (ehhhemm…Bunny)… watch it again…and laugh. Because, if we believe and trust in HIM, our site will succeed. Amen.

Fantastic Mall Hair

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No idea who this is.  But my GOD is her hair fantastic.  And by fantastic I mean that I would not be the least bit surprised if a family of moths flew out of her bangs.  I would also like to know where I can purchase an identical sweater.  Anyone?

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