Monthly Archive for July, 2007

Camels, Toes, and TronMan

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There are so many disturbing things about this photo I am at a loss for words.

Does my butt look fat?

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This girl never has to ask that question of anyone.   She can just take a looksee all on her own.

A photo completely inuendo-free

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Why do guys think this picture is so hot?  I don’t get it.  Is it the french words underneath it?  Is it because her nail polish is so pretty?

;)

Gourds To Make Music and Cover Your Penis

This reminds me of those weird combinations we sometimes see….like laundry and tan, bait shop and pizza carry-out, tunafish and cigarettes, etc.

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Musical gourds from Africa and India, such as drums, lutes and sitars have beautiful, polished finishes decorated with beads and carved designs.

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But of all the uses for gourds, some of the most interesting are the “penis sheath gourds” worn by men of New Guinea. Penis gourds are also known from Africa and northern South America. There is considerable speculation among anthropologists about the purpose of such gourds, but most agree that they are more than a protective device and serve an important social function.

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More on Alli…I can’t get enough

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If you have not read my previous entry about Alli, click here first.….I just have more to say…

So, I had to go on the Alli website to confirm this “poop your pants” theory. In THREE different places on the site, they confirm what I feared to be true.

From the “side effects” section:

Oily stools. As the Alli weight loss pill reduces the production of an enzyme in the intestine, which converts fatty dietary elements into fatty acids, some fat from digested food may not be processed. As a result the body will find a way to release basic fat content from the body, usually excreted naturally. Due to the nature of the left over substances, stools can often appear oily and emit an unfortunate odour.

Flatulence. Another means by which the body has been known to release unwanted waste is by flatulence. While this is a totally natural and harmless release, it can prove potentially embarrassing and uncomfortable as the customer may not have full control of their bowels at all times.

From the FAQ’s section:

Are There Any Serious Side Effects?

Extensive trials and research have shown that there are no serious side effects, although many patients will experience some rather uncomfortable side effects which include :

Oily stools.

Increased flatulence.

Bouts of sudden bowel movement.

From the Pros and Cons section:

Cons of Alli Pills

While the pros far out way the cons for Alli users, the basic process of reducing the body’s intake of fatty acids means that additional unused fat content from the user’s diet needs to be removed from the body. The fat is therefore excreted from the body which can result in a number of mild side effects including :

  • “loose” or “oily” stools, with a distinctive aroma.
  • Increased flatulence, which can obviously cause discomfort.
  • Frequent and unpredictable bowels movements, which may sometimes be out of the patient’s control, if they persist with a high fat content diet.

OK……so, in conclusion:

“Usually excreted naturally”; “Unfortunate odour”; “May not have full control”; “Bouts of sudden bowel movement”; “A distinctive aroma”

You can’t make this stuff up people. This is pure comedy gold…AND…its happening to portly people everywhere. THAT’s no joke.

Art

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Recently, Bunny and I were strolling through a local department store, when we walked past the women’s lingerie department. Now, neither one of us were comfortable “browsing” this area, so we hurried passed. But low and behold, we look over to a picture hanging on the wall.  Immediately we burst into laughter – well, because we both  have the sense of humor of a 4th grade girl. You can see the portrait above.

First, let me set the stage for you. This shopping “mall” is a bit…well, ghetto. For example, in the place of a trendy “teen wear” store, we instead had been browsing an ethnic home goods store, full of Native American statues and golden swords embellished with the Great American White Wolf. 

Now that you have a feel for the situation, I would like to think about the person who picked out the above image. There was once a person hired to decorate said department store. He/She had picked out several scenic portraits for the shoe department, a few masculine-type pictures featuring the back of a golfer for the men’s wear department, etc. Then came time to assess the lingerie department. He/She searched high and low for just the right picture. It had to be calming, yet sophisticated. After, I’m sure, WEEKS of searching, the department store art buyer came across this painting we see above.

I leave it to your comments to assess his/her decision. Meanwhile, I will continue giggling.

The countdown begins.

T minus 18 days and counting until this masterpiece of a movie hits the big screens. I see Oscar written all over this thing.

Speaking of hair….

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I ask you.  Is there any hair style on the planet better than this one?  Do you suppose the white wire actually connects her to some sort of power supply which then starts the propeller?  Is it possible that she can actually get airborne?  Because if that’s the case, I haven’t been more impressed by a hairstyle since Bunny posted the mushroom lady. 

Human Mushroom

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We’ve all had bad hair days…but that’s usually because of circumstances beyond our control, such as humidity, oversleeping, ran out of styling gel…..However, in the case of this woman, the circumstances – or shall I say curling iron – were in her control.  She looked in the mirror and said to herself, “Self, I am going to curl your hair into the shape of a perfect mushroom today.”  Hence the masterpiece you see before you.  The best part is the expression on her face…she’s thinking, “Where can I find a nice, damp, rotting tree trunk to sit on?”

Is this hot?

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This recent picture of Britney, courtesy of News of the World, prompted me to want to take an informal poll from our many (5?) readers. Tell me. Is this hot? When you look at this picture of Britney Spears snaking around a stripper pole, are you thinking, “She is SIZZLING hot!” or something more along the lines of “I would sooner gnaw off my own foot than tap that.”

I look forward to your comments.

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